[WELL IF HE COULD HE WOULD!!!! also wow caelus... incredibly alpha and het.... the real plot twist
but Lavi listens, because of course he does, expression serious -- not questioning this moment or these requests, how they sound very much like Caelus, and how much Lavi wants to believe that it is him,]
...I'll look after them. And whatever that note meant -- I'll find out whether it's true or not.
[if there really is another side, which is already a lot for Lavi to consider, when he'd been ready to toss the whole idea aside.]
I'm going to ask you a question, but I'll do what you ask regardless of your answer -- or whether you answer it at all. [a beat, then] What's your monster power?
[ GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS. do not het him, i s2g. bi-blazer til i die-blazer. but yeah i guess he's gonna die an alpha which is extremely unnatural and now i'm sad for a new reason. thanks. anyway the boys he'd ask lavi to watch for him he's already seen lavi all over so he's not concerned. ]
I...
[ a hand to his throat. grasping. his nails are suddenly quite longer. claw-like, in fact. ]
...
[ hand relaxes ]
I think your theory is right. Whatever you're thinking, follow your gut. If it seems like me, it probably was.
[STOP MAKE HIM NORMAL AGAIN DURING EXECUTION AT LEAST
also this... is not the answer he wanted, but it's an answer -- and considering how Caelus reacted to it...]
Alright.
[what else can he say now? maybe he should mention that he'd go with his gut, except his gut will always think of the worst scenario, and that kanda's white hairs will have lavi think forever of the possibility. except mentioning it might just excite the Other-Caelus inside the real one. so he instead he sighs, slumping over, letting the tension unwind from him,]
...We'll miss you. The people you want me to look after, and me.
[ he should let lavi go. give him permission to leave with the information he's been given (however scant) and the favors asked (however many). but it's been a while since caelus was able to talk openly at all, even with the threat of a little self-asphyxiation as a treat. ]
I'll miss you, too.
[ looking down at his hands, the one with claws that have yet to retract, the other normal for the moment ]
I'll miss everything.
[ the selfish privilege of the condemned. to ramble when their audience can do nothing but awkwardly stand there and take it. ]
I keep hoping the Astral Express will show up any second. They'll come and save me like they always do. They wouldn't leave me to die here.
[ ... ]
But I don't think it's gonna happen. I have to do this alone.
[it might be selfish, but Lavi is the last person who’d think that — not when his job is to listen to last words and observe endings. All of this is part of the Caelus who Lavi met, and eventually be parted from regardless of what kind of parting.
He hadn’t wanted it to be like this either. He’d wanted to say goodbye and know that Caelus had gone back to his home, to his friends, and to that destiny he swore to fight. The human part of him wants that even now.]
They might just be late. They’ll miss you on this stop, but they’ll pick you up on the next. They’ve probably been searching for you all this time too.
You'd like them. Sometimes Kanda makes me think of Dan Heng, a little bit.
[ holds thumb and index finger a half inch apart. leetle ]
But he's a lot... [ .......... ] Nicer. [ there's no better word for the truth ]
When he thought I was in trouble on the Luofu, even though he was banished, he came back just to rescue us.
[ he shuts his eyes ]
Maybe you're right. In two more minutes, Dan Heng will show up and this veil can't stop him. Three more minutes, Mr. Yang will burst through and make sure my Stellaron's contained. Four more minutes, Miss Himeko will take control of the situation. Five more minutes, March will ask what's up with all the tails.
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the smile does drop again. a shimmer? a change. or not. who's to say.
You can't leave her alone in the barn. Izutsumi's never there.
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Lavi looks at Caelus for a beat or two, then]
...I won't. I'll make sure she's with someone at the haunted house, or the cabin with Rondo.
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Anis and Yuffie, too.
[ his girls who are friends ]
And Hawke. And... if there's another side, if you have the time, try to find me.
[ clasping his hands together over his lap ]
That's a lot of favors, but if anyone can do it, it's someone like you.
[ caelus wanted it to be someone like him but he was dealt a different hand. ]
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but Lavi listens, because of course he does, expression serious -- not questioning this moment or these requests, how they sound very much like Caelus, and how much Lavi wants to believe that it is him,]
...I'll look after them. And whatever that note meant -- I'll find out whether it's true or not.
[if there really is another side, which is already a lot for Lavi to consider, when he'd been ready to toss the whole idea aside.]
I'm going to ask you a question, but I'll do what you ask regardless of your answer -- or whether you answer it at all. [a beat, then] What's your monster power?
no subject
I...
[ a hand to his throat. grasping. his nails are suddenly quite longer. claw-like, in fact. ]
...
[ hand relaxes ]
I think your theory is right. Whatever you're thinking, follow your gut. If it seems like me, it probably was.
no subject
also this... is not the answer he wanted, but it's an answer -- and considering how Caelus reacted to it...]
Alright.
[what else can he say now? maybe he should mention that he'd go with his gut, except his gut will always think of the worst scenario, and that kanda's white hairs will have lavi think forever of the possibility. except mentioning it might just excite the Other-Caelus inside the real one. so he instead he sighs, slumping over, letting the tension unwind from him,]
...We'll miss you. The people you want me to look after, and me.
no subject
I'll miss you, too.
[ looking down at his hands, the one with claws that have yet to retract, the other normal for the moment ]
I'll miss everything.
[ the selfish privilege of the condemned. to ramble when their audience can do nothing but awkwardly stand there and take it. ]
I keep hoping the Astral Express will show up any second. They'll come and save me like they always do. They wouldn't leave me to die here.
[ ... ]
But I don't think it's gonna happen. I have to do this alone.
no subject
He hadn’t wanted it to be like this either. He’d wanted to say goodbye and know that Caelus had gone back to his home, to his friends, and to that destiny he swore to fight. The human part of him wants that even now.]
They might just be late. They’ll miss you on this stop, but they’ll pick you up on the next. They’ve probably been searching for you all this time too.
no subject
[ holds thumb and index finger a half inch apart. leetle ]
But he's a lot... [ .......... ] Nicer. [ there's no better word for the truth ]
When he thought I was in trouble on the Luofu, even though he was banished, he came back just to rescue us.
[ he shuts his eyes ]
Maybe you're right. In two more minutes, Dan Heng will show up and this veil can't stop him. Three more minutes, Mr. Yang will burst through and make sure my Stellaron's contained. Four more minutes, Miss Himeko will take control of the situation. Five more minutes, March will ask what's up with all the tails.