[ hand up to cradle his own head. this doesn't hurt his brain because it's difficult for him to process now that it's out in the open. it hurts everything, because it's lucas who committed a hatecrime against a large bottom bisexual. ]
And you aren't a hindrance.
[ caelus, speaking for everyone when all he knows is his own feelings ]
You love your sister and you were blinded by the chance to save her. I don't discount the people who fall to Stellaron corrosion, either, when they're promised all their wishes granted. I wish they'd made better choices, but I don't hate them.
[Caelus truly is the funniest person. He's just sort of quiet for a few moments, listening to Caelus speak and then digesting what he's said.]
...It wouldn't be remiss if you did, even so.
[Just in case there's any doubt that he's in his Catholic Guilt era and is always more surprised and concerned and uncomfortable when people choose not to hate him and try to punch him immediately on sight. He unfolds his hands, folds them back together, the gesture a bit restless.]
Lucas is just quiet for a second, glancing up and over from the water and seeing this FACE that he has NEVER SEEN BEFORE. It's still a better face than what he feels he deserves, though.]
I understand. [That he's created this awful situation and also murdered a wholeass Ichiban about it, and it's something to be more than angry about, so really, this is a reaction where he's counting his blessings.]
I won't do anything to make you regret your choice to continue working with me.
[HE'S STILL WAITING FOR THE MOMENT EVERYONE DECIDES THEY DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH AN INTENTIONAL PAWS MURDERER AFTER ALL which he thinks would be very fair and valid of them.
He just unclasps and reclasps his hands again, glancing back toward the fountain. It's hard to come up with halfway decent things to say when there are no halfway decent things that can be said.]
It was the very least that I could do. If it weren't for the fact that I know Nadia still needs me, I would have preferred to simply speak of it after trial. [Unfortunately, he committed to the escape artist route only to get monsterized immediately, as you do.]
I do apologize for putting even more on your shoulders when you've already been dealing with so much this week, but it wouldn't feel right to let you carry on speaking to me without knowing the full truth.
You know, Yuffie saw that same memory of Aventurine that you did. And she didn't have to deal with me asking for her underwear after, so we had time to talk about it.
[ his arms press tighter into his own body, but he continues without any change in his calmed down tone. ]
And she wondered why I forgave someone who would do that to me.
[ an exhale through his nose ]
A lot of people lie to me. They want to use me as a Trailblazer because our position is important or they want to use me as the body that holds a Stellaron. They mess with my memories, they attack my friends, and they set me up because... sometimes you're the game token, not the player.
[ lets that sit for another breath. ]
If I can accept and forgive the people who treat me like that, I can show them it's not who I am. And then there's nothing that can stop me. That's my path.
[THEY REALLY DIDN'T GET TO TALK ABOUT CAELUS'S MEMORY AT ALL BECAUSE OF HIS DAMN UNDERWEAR QUEST.
But he just listens as Caelus talks and explains, once again turning his gaze back like a pingpong match of attention. His expression is a little difficult to read, and a little difficult in general, but he's attentive, quiet.
For a person who has apparently spent his life being lied to and taken advantage of, he does suppose that this is a sensible way of wresting back some control. There are a few moments of silence, and then:]
I'm sorry that you've had to find a way to present yourself to specifically counter these things. [But he supposes it's also unavoidable for someone in such a unique and uniquely harrowing situation.] ...I'm glad that it's led you to a path that will carry you forward no matter what trials you face, though.
[Even if the trials are just dealing with fucking VILLAINS AND MURDERERS.]
[ me, making sure caelus goes to the graveyard so he can leash EVERY BLOND AND GINGER BASTARD that has given him even the slightest reason to need leashing.
except cloud. aerith has that on lock. ]
Like I said, admitting everything, especially when you don't have to--
[ it'd just be soooo awkward ]
--took courage. I'm taking that into account.
[ realizing earlier he called him just 'lucas' and not 'master lucas' so perhaps deep down he had an idea there was something terrible and off going on. a blip within his soul. ]
[HELP AERITH JUST LEASHED THIS BLOND SO WELL THAT NO ONE ELSE NEEDS TO LEASH HIM.
It'd be so awkward, though. It would be sooo awkward. He's not sure if courage is the right word for it, but he's not about to argue with a man who can sense deep down in his soul that something is off.
The statement has him canting his head to the side, though.]
Now that I can go to the beach again, I can work on a new version of Iwatooshi and my sand kingdom. The two-point-oh version is gonna be called Ichitopia.
[ the biggest internal sigh. this is okay. he will find a way to make this work. they'll get lucas back to his sister and ichiban back to his beach. it's totally, totally fine. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ hand up to cradle his own head. this doesn't hurt his brain because it's difficult for him to process now that it's out in the open. it hurts everything, because it's lucas who committed a hatecrime against a large bottom bisexual. ]
And you aren't a hindrance.
[ caelus, speaking for everyone when all he knows is his own feelings ]
You love your sister and you were blinded by the chance to save her. I don't discount the people who fall to Stellaron corrosion, either, when they're promised all their wishes granted. I wish they'd made better choices, but I don't hate them.
[ he hates this. the situation. not lucas ]
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...It wouldn't be remiss if you did, even so.
[Just in case there's any doubt that he's in his Catholic Guilt era and is always more surprised and concerned and uncomfortable when people choose not to hate him and try to punch him immediately on sight. He unfolds his hands, folds them back together, the gesture a bit restless.]
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[ oh, he did it! ]
But I don't hate you and I want to keep working with you.
[ but this face. has he ever turned this face toward lucas??? has he?? ]
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Lucas is just quiet for a second, glancing up and over from the water and seeing this FACE that he has NEVER SEEN BEFORE. It's still a better face than what he feels he deserves, though.]
I understand. [That he's created this awful situation and also murdered a wholeass Ichiban about it, and it's something to be more than angry about, so really, this is a reaction where he's counting his blessings.]
I won't do anything to make you regret your choice to continue working with me.
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[ snapping, too! hasn't done that before. but he'll cool down once he's gone and been even mildly huffy toward a professed killer. ]
This is really the worst.
[ 'this,' though. not 'you are.' his arms cross over his chest, a tad protective although not from any physical harm. ]
It took guts to tell me right away.
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He just unclasps and reclasps his hands again, glancing back toward the fountain. It's hard to come up with halfway decent things to say when there are no halfway decent things that can be said.]
It was the very least that I could do. If it weren't for the fact that I know Nadia still needs me, I would have preferred to simply speak of it after trial. [Unfortunately, he committed to the escape artist route only to get monsterized immediately, as you do.]
I do apologize for putting even more on your shoulders when you've already been dealing with so much this week, but it wouldn't feel right to let you carry on speaking to me without knowing the full truth.
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[ his arms press tighter into his own body, but he continues without any change in his calmed down tone. ]
And she wondered why I forgave someone who would do that to me.
[ an exhale through his nose ]
A lot of people lie to me. They want to use me as a Trailblazer because our position is important or they want to use me as the body that holds a Stellaron. They mess with my memories, they attack my friends, and they set me up because... sometimes you're the game token, not the player.
[ lets that sit for another breath. ]
If I can accept and forgive the people who treat me like that, I can show them it's not who I am. And then there's nothing that can stop me. That's my path.
no subject
But he just listens as Caelus talks and explains, once again turning his gaze back like a pingpong match of attention. His expression is a little difficult to read, and a little difficult in general, but he's attentive, quiet.
For a person who has apparently spent his life being lied to and taken advantage of, he does suppose that this is a sensible way of wresting back some control. There are a few moments of silence, and then:]
I'm sorry that you've had to find a way to present yourself to specifically counter these things. [But he supposes it's also unavoidable for someone in such a unique and uniquely harrowing situation.] ...I'm glad that it's led you to a path that will carry you forward no matter what trials you face, though.
[Even if the trials are just dealing with fucking VILLAINS AND MURDERERS.]
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except cloud. aerith has that on lock. ]
Like I said, admitting everything, especially when you don't have to--
[ it'd just be soooo awkward ]
--took courage. I'm taking that into account.
[ realizing earlier he called him just 'lucas' and not 'master lucas' so perhaps deep down he had an idea there was something terrible and off going on. a blip within his soul. ]
I know something you can do right away.
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It'd be so awkward, though. It would be sooo awkward. He's not sure if courage is the right word for it, but he's not about to argue with a man who can sense deep down in his soul that something is off.
The statement has him canting his head to the side, though.]
What would that be?
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[ teehee. ]
You can lend a hand.
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Oh... If you'd like help with it, then certainly.
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[ the biggest internal sigh. this is okay. he will find a way to make this work. they'll get lucas back to his sister and ichiban back to his beach. it's totally, totally fine. ]
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Just direct me whenever you start, then.
[Go ahead and alpha boss him around, he will listen because it's the least he can do after punching out a man's heart.]