trashprince | scawwy: pc: iwatooshi

[ that question. caelus squeezes the hand in his, an immediate seeking of comfort as the walls close in. ]

Now and again.

[ iwatooshi nods again, automatically squeezing back. ]

It's been on my mind a lot, lately, since my first mission. I tried to ignore it while I could, but... when our master summoned Higekiri-sama and Hizamaru-sama, I couldn't any longer. Especially not when Imanotsurugi asked me about his existence...

[ something in his expression cracks, as his eyes flits back to the space beside him. ]

I wanted to protect Imanotsurugi. I thought that the truth would hurt him, so I told him that he wouldn't be there with us, otherwise. [ ... ] I didn't know what else to say, at the time. But it still feels wrong to have said what I did.

It's not good to play around with the circumstances of someone's existence.

[ doing so maliciously or for giggles would be really fucked up, right? ]

But you wanted to protect him. You didn't lie to cause him suffering.

[ there is very little iwatooshi could do at this point to convince caelus he's not a good person. ]

I'd forgive you.

No, but I did. He should have heard the truth from me, that... [ he hesitates, shaking his head. ] If I'd had the courage to tell him, then maybe it wouldn't have been so difficult when his beloved master didn't recognize the name "Imanotsurugi."

[ he closes his eyes, as if that could shut out the hallucination's laughter. true, it meant that history wasn't affected. shouldn't they be relieved for that?

but iwatooshi will never forget the look on his face in that moment, how imanotsurugi tried so hard to keep smiling, even through the heartbreak. ]

I know it wouldn't have been easy, even if I had told him. I just can’t help wondering if it wouldn’t have been as hard as it was if he’d already known that we don’t exist in the true line of history... but there's nothing to be done about it now.

[ caelus does understand, deeply, painfully, and at the same exact time, he doesn't get it at all. iwatooshi has shared with him that he is a weapon--ancient with quite a number of battles under his belt. he's spoken fondly of a master and friends.

but this is the first time he's shared the idea of a timeline malfunction. of not existing in the 'true line' at all.

caelus can't accept iwatooshi's sorries for imanotsurugi. yes, he'd forgive, but that's how trailblazers are (maybe). can't say the same is true of living blades. can't know any of that for sure. ]

When we escape from here, will you go back to the true line of history or the one that has your friend?

There is only one place for us to go, and that is our current master's side. Even if we don't exist in history, we exist in the imagination of humans... we exist for our master, because of them.

So... I will return to the citadel to wait for Imanotsurugi's return. And then we'll talk and go from there. There are no other options.

[ wait, so the swords are just [redacted] from honkai??? caelus pieces this together behind the scenes. wowza. ]

Imaginations are powerful. [ literally where he comes from ] You seem real enough to me now. I can talk to you and touch you. It's better to exist differently than not at all.

[ isn't it? ]

I'll do what I can to help you see your friend again

[ what is redacted help me. maybe!! i don't know!!

to that, though, iwatooshi dips his head slightly in acknowledgment. ]

I exist for now. I am real, for now. My memories and emotions are real to me, and that's what matters. All I can do is cherish each moment I have, with everyone I can, before the day comes that I'm no longer here.

[ though he wonders what the answer will be, for imanotsurugi. how he'll grow and move forward, knowing what he knows.

but iwatooshi can't know that until he returns home, so for now... he gives caelus a small, pained smile. ]

Thank you, Caelus-dono. I only hope that I can return the favor.

scawwy: pc: iwatooshi

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